Do you know what I really hate; yeah, hate? Do you know what sets me off and gets my blood boiling and drives me mad? When people lie to someone to spare that person’s feelings. They may not realize it, but they are proving a lack of respect to the person they think they are saving. I am guilty of it also, but i have learned hiding the truth about something that happened, about the way you feel or do not feel, or really anything one may be afraid to say to someone for whatever reason is not doing them any favors. It is still a lie. The lack of respect comes in here; lying to someone shows you do not trust them with the truth. Maybe you think they cannot handle it, so you are saying to them you think they are weak or frail. Maybe you think they will not look at you the same way, you are saying you do not trust their judgement or reaction.
Its all part of responsibility in relationships. Friendships, dating, marriage, co-workers, siblings, even strangers who have something hanging out of their nose, any type of relationship deserves the respect of honesty and trust. Tell the truth and see what happens. Tell everyone the truth. Tell them how you really feel, what you truly think. Do not play games or manipulate. Trust them to be a reasonable and level-headed human being. If it turns out they are not, hey, at least you learned something about them. Give it a try anyway, maybe they will surprise you.
Give respect to get respect. Its alright to be afraid, we all feel fear, do not allow that feeling to dictate your actions. Take a time out to collect yourself before acting rashly, examine your motives, try to look at it from the other person’s perspective. Seek counsel and wisdom from wise people, getting out of your own head for a minute is one of the best steps to making better decisions.
Spare us all the attempt to spare us and just be honest. Hiding something you are ashamed of, that you have struggled with, or what you feel or think about something is a great way to hurt someone much more when you finally do tell them. Trust me on that. Waiting and lying may lead them to never want to trust you again. It is always better to lay it all on the table, show your hand, play your cards, any of those, instead of keeping it in and damaging yourself and your relationships. Especially as a Christian we need to lean on our Rock. Have a little faith and move those mountains.
Slightly unrelated but I’m feeling a pull to mention this to you: Maybe you think you are too weak, maybe some of you think you are stupid or not good enough, maybe you think you are too small or young or are bad at speaking. God uses those who think themselves useless to prove how glorious He is. Have courage in Him to be your strength, his courage is your courage God’s wisdom is your wisdom. Believe in Him and the sacrifice of Christ. He makes all things new. ALL things are possible in Christ who strengthens me.
1 Corinthians 1:26-31
For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”
1 Timothy 4:12
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
Grace and Peace,