Checking It Twice

For all you singles out there looking for someone to share your adventure with, I heard a pretty great idea.

I first heard of doing this at a church back in February around Valentine’s day. I did and it really helps with clarity. One Sunday night the speaking pastor told us to start a list. “Take these blank cards and start writing a list. Write all you are looking for in the person you want: what do they like, what do they do, what do they want, what is their faith like, even what do they look like. Be very specific. Every detail you think of will help you figure out what you really want and where your focus is. This isn’t for me to look at, just a tool for you to keep and edit or add to as you think of more.”

I remember when the pastor began her instruction, all I could think of to write was a name. One single person I knew I loved and would be important in my life since the day we met. So I wrote the name. I left the name for the majority of the evening and I could not write anything else in the card until towards the end when the pastor asked us to pray over our list and think about why we wrote what we did. Easy for me, I had been praying for that name I wrote day and night anyway. While I was praying, ideas began to flow. When I opened my eyes I started writing a real list. I had to get a new card because the name at the top made me write what I loved about her instead of participating in the exercise. (On a side note, writing everything you love about someone is a great way to show them you really do.)

So I began writing personality traits, physical features, character qualities I value and want in my love. Things like integrity, honesty, soft-heartedness, family love, hard working and such came first. Those were easy. The more I wrote the more I was able to describe what I hope to see. I got really personal and the longer I stayed focused the more the details painted a picture. When I finished my list I asked God to show me anything I had left out and I immediately began thinking of the name I wrote on the first card. I was overwhelmed. So I kept praying, eyes shut tight, head buried so no one would notice. When I regained composure I opened my eyes and at the top of the list I wrote “Is not perfect and knows I am not perfect”

I found my list today as I was cleaning my room. I have a few new things to add to it and many old prayers to pray. I encourage you singles to make your own list. Isolate your mind from any specific person who pops in there and really get to your heart and soul. Write everything you want in your person. Then pray God takes you to them. Remember no one is perfect and as you write you will learn which bullet points are important and which ones will be irrelevant when love takes hold.

Whether you are already married or single, make a list anyway and see how your own actions match up to it. It will help strengthen your marriage if you become the kind of person you would want to be with, and strengthen your character in general when you know your own shortcomings.

Happy writing ❤

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