While working yesterday as most people were off having barbecues and pool parties for Labor Day, I had a revelation of Spirit which i would not have learned had I been anywhere else. Cool how God uses where we are to teach.
All my life I’ve tried to be a good guy for ladies I’ve dated and people I have interacted with in general. Respectful, in control of my temper, in control of my body, trying not to focus on sexuality or have relationships based on that and I look around now and feel like I have no one about me that cares. Of course I have good friends and family I can talk to and laugh with and share many great memories and adventures with, which is in itself an incredible blessing, but it is not the same. Any of you who have true love know this to be true and my truest love pushed away and obliterated me from her life. I have been thinking, if this is what happens from fighting my sinful nature, (and often have i lost that battle, but each time I learn more about winning and have begun to avoid some traps altogether), why on earth should I continue battling to be a decent guy? Why not just give in and go looking for a different girl at every club and bar? Why would I continue fighting urges and not allow myself to be a womanizer or drunkard or stoner or layabout and just focus on getting mine? I asked myself, why? God asked me why I do what I do also. I am at this junction so I can answer Him. Will I strive to be a better quality of man for an incredible woman, or will I do it for Him when there is no woman to love, protect and uplift? I am stronger because of this and because God put me here to learn of my true motivation and to show me what that is and why it is worth it. I have been brought here because God wanted me to know my real reasons. Thank you my friends for showing me who I do not want to become, for being with me through my heartbreak and for talking openly with me and helping me to realize why exactly I want to be more than the world’s standard of guy, more than my own standard of what a man should be. Love of a woman isn’t enough to keep any man on the straight and narrow. No one person should be responsible for all that. People act rashly and run away when afraid or hurt, and sometimes for no reason at all. We all have let people down. I cannot think of anyone I have ever not disappointed in some small way or other. Can you? Because we are not perfect. That is why life and love are about forgiveness. It does not matter how many times or how badly someone has “let me down.” People will let me down, I will let others down and if they are my only motivator, even a strong love with a beautiful girl like her can become fruitless and the sand will shift and fall away. I want to be more because God loves me more. I let her down and perhaps she thought she let me down too, i do not know but given the chance, I would prove my love for God through Christ to her and be the best for Him. Without that chance for her, I will put my goals in God’s hands anyway and not be consumed by lust or pain or sorrow or lethargy.
That old cliche “If you truly love something set it free” is true. When you really love someone you care about their happiness and joy. When two people in a relationship love each other they put their partner’s desires first and in doing so, they each get what they wanted after all, their love to be fruitful, passionate, happy and working to achieve goals. So, let your love be free. Whatever their definition of freedom. Let them have fun and live and make new friends. Do not let jealousy or fear of losing them get the best of you. Love them for their Style, their faith, their courage, their personality. Love all of these things when they change, because we all change. You arent the same person you were 3 years ago and in another 5 you wont be the same you are today. If they want to dress differently than youre used to, don’t freak out, grow and appreciate their style. Its just clothes. Its the inside that counts 😉
Let them grow in their own life as they choose. You can grow together while separate and separately while together. If you are protecting their heart, trust they will protect yours. Thats love. Two ropes intertwined to create a stronger rope woven of respect, trust, forgiveness, loyalty, freedom, and so much more beauty than words can express. When one strand is frayed or worn, the other supports and strengthens it until it can be mended. As long as God is holding that rope, it can bear any weight.
God is the mender, the great healer and your rope will not snap so long as you look to Him to keep it strong.
I love you
Grace and Peace,