Have you ever had one of those days when nothing goes right? One of those days where all your troubles finally break through that wall you lock them behind so you can make it to the next night? When your thoughts revolve around past mistakes, or opportunities missed, or just something you want that keeps running further out of your reach. I hate those days. The days you feel…weak, out of place, like you can’t do anything to help yourself or anyone else, no matter how badly you want to. You know the kind I mean, we’ve all been there. The days where you are broken and you just want to lay perfectly still and become invisible so you don’t have to let anyone else down. When you don’t know how you will make it.
I had one of those days. I had my day to cry, to break, to beg Jesus to come back right then and there to deliver me from this life and all its let downs and heart aches, scars and mistakes. I realized in my grief that you can find comfort in the most unexpected of places. Even just hearing a voice you haven’t heard in a long time. I also realized in my pleading with Jesus that I don’t know what real pain is. That is the pain of being alone on this Earth with all humanity against you, the pain of having your body battered and broken. Your spirit longing for home, your mind longing for peace and finding none. The pain of calling,”FATHER!” Only to find His face hidden and your cries answered not by the love and compassion you desperately hope for, but by the bitter mocking of the crowd below as you hang on the cross, your very life dripping down in the blood pouring from the holes and tears in flesh that you do not deserve, but willingly and mercifully accept so the very ones who torment you may have someone to turn to when one of those days hits them full force. So next time you have one of those days when nothing goes right, remember Jesus had one of those days so horrible you can’t imagine and He rose again in glory so He would be there to give you shelter and comfort when you have one of those days. When you feel broken, remember Jesus WAS broken, for you. When you feel alone, remember Jesus was alone, for you. Just as He rose up out of the pits of Hell in triumph, you WILL rise up into His glory. Remember next time you have one of those days, that Jesus had that one day…for you.
I originally wrote this back in 2006, I found it again today and was reminded to keep dreaming even when you feel like you are in a nightmare. Look to Jesus, keep your friends close and remember to ask how their day is when you really want to complain about your own. They may be hurting too, possibly more than you are. An encouraging word from a loved one goes a long way to improving life at its lowest, believe me. Amazing how accurately these words describe the way I feel 7 years after I first wrote them. Amazing how people can be terrible to you and yet when you think about them, you still love them and hope the best for them. Amazing what God can do inside to change a heart when He is asked to and there is real desire for change. Amazing how terrible we can be to others, but God still says, “I love you” and wants us to keep coming closer to Him. I want to share with so many people the love I feel everyday and the grace I have experienced in my life. Share this with your friends, family and followers and tell them Andrew said keep fighting. The one who calms storms and raises the dead is on your side 🙂
With great love